Inner Game

March 20, 2013

Building Self Confidence To Attract Women

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Written by: Goku
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One of the questions I am most frequently asked by guys is, “How can I get more confident around women ?”

I believe that building self confidence is done through steady and incremental success.

Learn a solid technique, apply it, and the “small victories” you will achieve will naturally boost your confidence level.

For example, if you learn my techniques for approaching women, and you start making successful approaches, then you’re naturally going to feel more confident about doing it.

Learn my strategy for getting a girl’s phone number, and you’ll start racking up phone numbers with no problem. Very soon, you’ll feel quite confident in this area. Building self confidence is a natural byproduct.

But if you truly want to possess bulletproof confidence in EVERY area, first I want to ask you one very important question:

When it comes to women, do you believe in ABUNDANCE, or do you believe in SCARCITY?

This is the key factor that separates “bulletproof players” from average, frustrated chumps who make excuses, instead of getting results.

Guys who have a scarcity mentality believe that single, attractive women are in very short supply.

Therefore, these guys feel they need to chase women, try to impress them, and spend money. Once they’re into a girl, they’ll do anything it takes to date them!

And if the girl rejects this guy, he feels frustrated and depressed, because he worries that he won’t get another chance anytime soon. He tells himself that he “blew it”…

Then, there are guys like Carlos Xuma and I, who believe in ABUNDANCE.

We know that the universe has provided us with an endless supply of fun, sexy, single women.

We know that wherever we may currently live, and the places where we hang out, contain any number of great options for having fun and meeting girls.

Personally, I love to travel. I know that when I jump on a plane and explore a new scene, my options go from good to virtually LIMITLESS!

The guy with the “abundance attitude” guy knows there are literally an ENDLESS number of women who want to be with him!

And therefore, there is no reason to worry, or stress out, about finding a girlfriend RIGHT NOW, or chasing the “one girl” that you’ve been pining for.

The world is FILLED with opportunities.

It is essential that you develop this abundance mentality … and then, you need to know how to talk to girls in the most effective way.

The irony of having the abundance mentality is it means YOU become SCARCE to women.

Most women have an incredibly scarce mentality when it comes to men. They say, “all the good men are already married, or gay.”

Well, it’s time for you to blow their minds with the techniques you’ll find in our book, The Alpha Rules 😉

But first, you’ve got to make women feel that YOU are a scarce resource.

You can be into a girl…but don’t let her know it. You’ve got to play “hard to get.” This is essential for building self confidence.

In other words, she should feel lucky to meet a guy like you — a guy who is charming, funny, interesting, and cool — but who doesn’t play the dating game by the traditional “rules.”

Being a scarce resource to women means:

You dont give a woman all of your time and attention.

You dont lavish gifts on her, or spend more than $30 on a date. Meeting up with her for a drink, or coffee, is a lot more effective than taking her out to a restaurant.)

Youre not available to talk to her on the phone or chat on the internet for an hour every day, or see her any night of the week that shes free to see you.

Once you start getting to know women and getting them attracted to you, and then limiting your availability, so they dont always have access to you, you’ll be amazed by how much harder these girls are going compete for your attention and your affection.

This is what the girls want. A guy who is a CHALLENGE.

Theres a phrase that salesmen and marketers use, which is called “perceived value.” This means is if you create the perception that your product is scarce and in short supply — whether it’s true or not — people are going to want it that much more.

I’ll give you an example. A while back, I was interested in attending a seminar on how to make money in real estate. I live in Las Vegas, and there are lots of seminars like this coming to town. I went online and I find out about two.

The website for seminar #1 said the ticket cost was $999, and there were only two seats left — so reserve now!

The website for seminar #2 was only charging $79, and mentioned nothing about availability. It just asked you to sign up and purchase your seat.

Obviously, I was far more curious about the $999 seminar. There were only two seats left (at least, that’s what they were saying) — so in my primal animal brain, that seminar immediately had much greater value.

I figured that spending more money on an elite seminar would get me better results than spending a lot less money on a seminar that didn’t seem to be in demand.

You see examples of this sales tactic all the time. And it works, because scarcity creates perceived value.

With women, you want to be the “scarce and valuable guy.” The busier you appear to be, and the richer your social life seems, the more value women will place on you. And the easier building self confidence becomes.

If she calls you on the phone to chat, and you tell her you can only talk for a minute because you’re heading out the door to a birthday party for your friend Jennifer, she’ll know that you’ve got other options. You know other women. You don’t NEED to put all of your eggs in one basket.

And guess what. The girl on the phone? Her jealous, competitive instincts are now kicking in. You are a guy she wants to win because she sees you as a scarce, valuable resource. She’s not the only girl trying to spend time with you!

Maybe the ultimate example of what Im talking about is the diamond industry. It’s a multi-billion industry built entirely on an illusion of perceived value.

How “valuable” is a diamond, really? They’re tiny crystals of carbon, that’s all! Sure, they’re shiny and pretty, but no one ever needed a diamond until the people controlling the industry teamed up with the world’s top advertising agency… and managed to convince us all that diamonds are the ultimate symbol of eternal romance.

(“Diamonds are forever…” “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend…” etc.)

If you loved a woman and wanted to marry her, now you had to shell out thousands of dollars for a diamond ring. She expected nothing less!

At the same time, the mining and production of diamonds is tightly regulated and controlled… so that demand will always far exceed supply.

The diamond cartels that control the industry in South Africa continue to pay millions of dollars to advertising agencies which force-feed women the notion that diamonds are incredibly rare, special, and romantic.

(Of course, once diamonds became this ultimate “status symbol,” all the rappers and pro athletes jumped on the bandwagon as well… which also encourages all the wanna-be’s to spend absurd amounts of money on diamond chains and earrings, since it means they’re “somebody.”)

Think about it. Perceived value. Do women view you as a diamond, or are you just one of a million ordinary stones they’d find on any beach?

Are you with me?


I want you to STOP being the average guy who takes the “scarcity” attitude. It’s time for you to start building self confidence.

The guy who meets a girl, and things seem to go well, but then she starts acting cold towards him… distant… NOT returning phone calls and emails… and so he starts to freak out and get depressed…

He’s desperate to get the girl back, to lock her down and make her his girlfriend… and what happens in these situations — nine out of ten times — is she runs in the other direction!

Why? Because once a guy has telegraphed his interest… and she perceives that he’s just another average, single guy whos got no other options… and nothing much else going on in his life… she knows he lacks value.

Instead of this, you need to be the PRIZE that women seek to CAPTURE.

You charm them, make them feel attraction, and then you make them work to earn your time and attention.

When you’re talking to girls, you “tease” them instead of agreeing with everything they say.

When they want to see you, you’re NOT always available.

Then when you are with her, you will seem like a guy who has plenty of female options… but you’re giving her a chance to measure up to your standards.

And you’re not going to make it easy on ’em 😉

Once you master this mindset, The Alpha Rules contains dozens of tips & techniques on how to meet and attract women that are absolutely MIND BLOWING.

So remember: building self confidence begins with learning the right strategies, which we will provide. Then, as you start applying these techniques and experiencing a new level of success, your confidence level will rise naturally. And, you’ll have a lot of FUN — and good times — in the process.

Your Wingman,

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