Approaching & Opening

September 26, 2012

5 Tips to Get Rid of Dating Phobia

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Written by: Glenn

The idea of dating can be scary, whether you are just starting out to date or are returning to the dating scene after a many years absence.


Maybe the following things cross your mind:


1.  I wouldn’t know where to start

2.  I’m too old, no one would want to go out with me

3.  I really don’t have time to deal with all the stresses and “games” of dating

4.  I’ve never been lucky dating.  I get all “tongue-tied” and don’t know what to say

5.  I’m a loner.  I’d rather stay home and read a good book

6.  Once burned, twice shy!  I don’t want to take the chance of getting dumped again


And the list goes on.  We are really good at rationalizing our reasons for not doing something we find a challenge.


Here are five tips to help you get past some of your phobias for not dating:


1.  Take some time to give SERIOUS thought to any experiences you may have had in the past that make you afraid to take the risk of dating now.  Chances are you’ll realize that the situation then is not even remotely like the situation you are living in now.  You may have been extremely young and/or the person you approached might have been tactless and naive.  You might have been more emotionally vulnerable then so the impression the “rejection” left on you might have been stronger than it warranted.  Just let go of the feelings associated with any negative dating experience, and move on.


2.  Start slow.  Go to “no risk” environments where you can interact with people of the opposite sex in a non-threatening way. For example, attend a seminar on a topic of interest to you or that is relevant to your business.


3.  Go to the types of places that you are comfortable in and where you would meet people of the opposite sex that have the same interests and values as you do.  Don’t hang out at bars or nightclubs if that is not the type of person you want to date.


4.  Go to night school and take a class in something that you are really passionate about. Not only will you meet men and women who have the same interests as you, you will have something to “talk” about.


5.  If you are shy or still have a problem approaching someone of the opposite sex, consider getting counseling.  A good counselor can help you get to the root of your phobia so you can move on with your life.


Like any new and worthwhile experience in life, dating can be full of uncertainties.  There is no “magic formula” for always having a positive and successful encounter, but you shouldn’t let that stop you.  Keep trying.  Remember, “nothing ventured, nothing gained.”

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